Lilacs in the Dawn
by NecroWrite
Summary: When a teenage girl is forced to move up the coast from the only home she's ever known to enter the custody of her alcoholic mother, she doesn't know what to expect from life. All she can do is hope for the best as she tries to stay true to herself in her new town.


_**NecroWrite: Commence generic announcement.**_

**DISCLAIMER: I'm only gonna say this once. I DO NOT own Homestuck. That isn't gonna change so I see no point in repeating it every chapter.**

**SHIPS: I won't confirm anything except over PM.**

**RATING: Nope, no public comments. PM me if you have questions.**

**REVIEWS: I will try my hardest to reply to all reviews here before each chapter. Constructive criticism is always welcome and appreciated!**

**LENGTH: Some chapters will be longish, some long, some shortish, and some short. It is not consistent; it's completely dependent on inspiration.**

**QUESTIONS: I WILL NOT answer you here! PM me about it.**

**_NecroWrite: Begin story._**

* * *

_First days are never easy._

A girl took a deep breath as she stood in the empty hallway outside the room in which her first period would be. She was clutching her schedule so tightly that she was afraid it would rip.

_But they don't have to be horrible._

She stood up straighter and brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

_I can do this._

She exhaled deeply and walked in. Twenty or so pairs of eyes shifted to her and she tried to not meet any of them.

_It's okay._

She walked to the teacher, forcing her limbs to relax so her movements were fluid instead of stiff with nervousness. She tried opening her mouth to speak but for a moment found that she couldn't.

_Relax. Deep breaths. Calm down. I can do this._

"Hello there. You must be Rose." The girl nodded at the teacher's words. "I'm Ms. Patterson. I believe there are some seats near the back of the class."

"Thank you," Rose managed to say, moving through the rows. Curious stares were upon her but she ignored them, keeping herself externally calm despite the nausea making her stomach churn. She was terrified, honestly. She had just moved to Skaia, Massachusetts from Sburb, North Carolina. It was mid-September so she was entering her new school a month into her junior year. She had never moved before, not even from her house. However, her father had recently passed away, leaving her to move into the custody of her alcoholic mother. Heart pounding and head spinning, she forced grief over her beloved father's death to leave her mind and sat in a desk at the back of the room.

"Alright class, let's turn our attention back to the PowerPoint..." With a sigh, Rose took notes despite not knowing what the PowerPoint was actually about. The bell rang and she put her notebook in her backpack before walking out of the room. Her next class was just down the hall (she had passed it on her way here to first period) so she sat on a bench built into the wall, her backpack beside her. She wasn't ready to walk into another room full of people who knew each other and what was being taught while she remained in the dark. She dug in her backpack for the leather journal she had elected to bring today, pulling it out and opening it in her lap. It fell to a random page and she began to read it.

_Dad's in the hospital again tonight and the doctors are still letting me stay in the room with him. I'm worried...he's not the same right now. The doctors say it's a side effect of his treatment and that he'll be himself soon. But I think they're lying. I want to be wrong but I've always been able to interpret the truth before. I've never misjudged sincerity. I really want to be wrong though. I never thought I'd say that. But I am wrong. I have to be. Dad's going to be okay. He has to be. It doesn't matter that the doctors won't let me stay in his bed anymore. Jesus Christ, if someone told me I'd want Dad to hold me like he did when I was little and had nightmares now that I'm sixteen, I would have punched them in the face. But this is worse than my worst nightmare and I'm scared. I need someone right now. I need to be held. Dear God I never thought I'd say that again either. I feel so needy right now, but that's understandable. I love Dad more than anything and he's sick. But the treatment's working. The doctors are right. They're not lying. It'll be okay. Roxy will be here tomorrow and she'll see him and things will be like they were. We'll play card games and be a family. We'll talk and laugh until our sides hurt. Roxy will make everything better. Dad will start joking again and Roxy will start laughing at him and I will throw in sarcastic comments, just like we used to do at the dinner table every day. I can't wait for Dad to be better. Roxy will leave again but that's alright. We can go back to calling her on Skype. I can't wait for Dad to leave the hospital so we can go bowling again. I've been getting closer and closer to beating him. Maybe I'll do it next time. I'm sure I will soon eno  
_

The entry cut off mid-word, ending in scribbles, and Rose remembered why. Her father's heart monitor had begun to beep erratically. Doctors had rushed in and forced Rose to stand meekly in a corner, watching in horror and hearing the machine's beeping become a steady tone. They had tried to restart his heart while Rose looked on, terrified. But that constant sound continued. It echoed in Rose's mind as the doctors stopped trying to revive him.

"Time of death, nine twenty-three PM," one had said.

But that had barely reached Rose's ears. All she could hear was the monitor's announcement that her father had died, even after it was unplugged.

The journal bore the dried watermarks of fallen tears and the horrible truth that there were no warm smiles or funny jokes waiting for Rose after school. The truth that Roxy had been too late to say goodbye. The truth that Rose didn't get to say goodbye either. The truth that the most important person in her life was gone. Fresh tears streamed down her cheeks, further marring the page. She closed the journal to preserve the entry and allowed her shoulders to shake with silent sobs. She bit her lip hard to keep sound from escaping. She wouldn't normally break down like this, especially in a public place, but the reminder of her father's death struck her like a lightning bolt. It was too soon.

_Damn journal...why did I have to bring this one?_

"Are you alright?" asked a soft voice. Rose looked up and tried to be covert as she examined the girl who had stopped in front of her. She was small and slight in build. Her features were delicate and her skin fairly pale. She had bright green eyes, short black hair, and a gentle gaze. Her lips were colored by a dark gloss. She was wearing a knee-length black skirt, black leggings, black flats, and a long-sleeved red shirt that fit her slim body tightly enough to be flattering but not tightly enough to be considered inappropriate. The fabric draped over her wrists and the hem was slightly longer in the back than in the front. On the chest of the shirt was the elegant black silhouette of a bird in flight. Rose's eyes slipped back up to the stranger's concerned eyes.

"Fine," she managed to choke out, expecting this person to shrug and walk on, but she didn't. Instead she sat beside Rose and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Rose couldn't help but cry harder. No one had held her since the funeral. It felt sickeningly nice. It reminded her of pleasant times full of fatherly hugs.

"You are most certainly not fine," the stranger assessed needlessly. "Come here." So Rose turned fully and held the girl's waist, burying her face in her neck, which smelled of comforting vanilla perfume. "Sh...take deep breaths." The stranger held Rose closer, their bodies pressing together. "Deep breaths." Rose struggled to comply but shuddering exhales rushed too fast. She calmed slowly. The bell rang but the other girl didn't move so Rose didn't either. She didn't care about being late to class. In fact, she didn't care about anything at all. When she was able to speak coherently again, she spluttered out an apology.

"I'm sorry I'm making you late. I'm sorry..."

"It's alright. I don't mind." Rose could hear the soft smile in her voice. "One of my friends will tell my teacher. She won't mind. And I do believe you and I share next period. I saw you looking at the room, so I told Feferi to explain for you as well, if the case is indeed that your second period is the same as my own. Of course neither myself nor Feferi knows your name but we had never seen you before so we assumed you're a new student." The stranger's chatter soothed Rose's grieving heart and made her feel well enough to pull away so she did. The stranger's arms remained loosely around her. Worried green eyes met Rose's brown ones. "Are you going to be alright?"

"I think so," Rose said with a sniffle. The girl's lips curved into a kind smile.

"I'm Kanaya. Kanaya Maryam," the stranger said. It was an attempt at friendship, and Rose gladly returned the sentiment.

"Rose Lalonde." She forced a smile and Kanaya reached up to gently remove the tears from her cheeks, caressing Rose's face and rubbing the streaks of sorrow away with her thumb. The contact was wonderful and very comforting so Rose's smile became slightly lighter.

"Do you need a moment?" Rose shook her head. "Then let's go to class. The seat behind me is empty. You are more than welcome to sit there."

"Thanks," Rose said, her smile becoming even more genuine. Kanaya seemed to sense this and stood, then picked up her satchel and Rose's backpack. "I could have gotten that..."

"You did not need to though. Come with me." She led the way to the classroom, which sure enough was Rose's destination. They went toward the back of the room and Rose sat in the empty desk behind the kindhearted girl. Since the class was a study hall, she had nothing to do except write in her journal about her breakdown and the girl she was befriending. When there were a few minutes left in the class and the students were permitted to socialize, Kanaya turned around. "May I see your schedule please?" Rose nodded and handed it over. Kanaya looked at it, and was finished reading it very quickly. Rose was impressed; this girl was clearly an avid reader, not unlike herself. "You have an interesting schedule." Approval sparkled in Kanaya's eyes. "We have several classes together. All except your first and third, actually. Sit near me when you see me; there always seems to be an empty desk behind or beside me."

"I will," Rose replied. The bell rang and the girls went their separate ways. Rose checked her schedule once she sat down.

_I suppose my schedule is rather interesting, _she mused. Since Veil High School was very accepting of alternative programming, she had been permitted to take some unorthodox classes: mythology first, study hall second, algebra third, writing theory fourth, physical education fifth, fashion and design sixth, and psychology and sociology seventh. When the bell rang for fourth period, she went to the class and found that the desks were arranged at tables, two to each. Kanaya's table was occupied by only the green-eyed girl herself so Rose sat beside her.

"My partner, Penelope Mills, moved last week; the teacher has agreed to allow you to join me." Rose smiled gratefully. But just like every other class she had been to, she was completely lost. When they were dismissed for lunch, Kanaya promised to help Rose grow accustomed to the school and understand her classes. The blonde was reassured by the promise and even more by the way Kanaya brought her to a large table for lunch. There was an open seat between Kanaya and another girl so Rose sat there. Kanaya went about introducing Rose to her friends. Rose was embarrassed when she found herself unable to remember their names but they reassured her that it was perfectly alright. Rose was relieved; it appeared as though Kanaya kept very good company. She listened to their lighthearted conversations instead of joining in, but she promised herself that she would speak up eventually. When lunch ended, Kanaya led her to the gym. Confronted with too many gossipy, half-naked girls than she could tolerate, Rose changed in a shower stall and waited until there was no more chatter, then came out and jumped slightly. Kanaya was sitting on a bench. Her eyes met Rose's and again that gentle, genuine smile made itself known on her face. Rose couldn't help but smile back.

"Were you waiting for me?" Rose asked. Kanaya blushed and redirected her gaze to the floor.

"I just wanted to ensure that you're feeling alright," she explained. Rose chuckled.

"You're too kind. I'm fine. I just bit insecure about my body, and I'm not comfortable with..." she trailed off and bit her lip.

_Shit! I've said too much._

"Not comfortable with what?" Kanaya asked kindly, looking up again. It was Rose's turn to blush and look away.

"I don't want other girls to see me," she lied, looking back. Kanaya's eyes showed that she knew this was a lie, but thankfully she didn't challenge it.

"Alright." Kanaya stood. "Let's go." Rose exhaled with relief.

_Good. She doesn't know. She can't know. I have to be more careful.  
_

Rose followed her new friend out and spent the period ignoring every perverted male in the class. Not all of them looked at her like a slab of meat though so she figured the market for a boyfriend in Skaia was at least semi-existent. When it was time to change for sixth period, Rose returned to her shower stall to dress. When she walked out, Kanaya was waiting for her again. They left the gym.

"Are there any cute boys around here?" Rose asked casually. Kanaya froze, her muscles stiff and tense. Rose stopped and looked at her, puzzled. "Kanaya?"

"I-I...I suppose so," she stammered. Her eyes were akin to those of a deer in headlights. Rose smirked.

"Kanaya, are you hiding something?" The other girl's face flushed to a vibrant red color at the words. "I never took you for that type," Rose continued to tease her.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about!" she insisted nervously.

"Oh bullshit," Rose scoffed. "It's alright. A secret relationship with a boy is nothing to be ashamed of." Kanaya relaxed, her eyes becoming greatly relieved.

"Yes, of course. That's it," she said hurriedly. As they walked to their next class though, Rose doubted the confirmation more and more.

_That looked like a lie...hm... _She cast a surreptitious glance at the other girl. _What's she hiding? I suppose I shouldn't pry though...I don't want to chase her away with too many questions. _She decided to resign herself to the mystery for now and instead focused on surviving her first day. When it was over, she walked home, knowing that her mom would not come to get her, and that she had not been added to the roster of any bus. Fortunately, her house was sixteen straight blocks away and across only one road.

Located next to the park, the Lalonde residence was a lovely house. It was of an impressive size and quality: almost like a mansion. Rose hated it. Its size made it feel very empty, leaving the blonde with a perpetual feeling of loneliness. She walked in and headed upstairs to her room, where she dropped her backpack and sat on her bed with a sigh. She reached over to her nightstand and picked up a picture, smiling sadly. It was a photograph taken two months ago. She was sitting in the sand on a Florida beach, watching the sunset with her father. They were sitting side-by-side, both staring in wonder at the vibrant sky. They were both visible due to the camera angle. Her father's arm was around her shoulders and her own arms were wrapped loosely around her knees. The picture had been taken by Rose's older sister Roxy. The photo was of a happier time, before her father was diagnosed with lung cancer. Before he died. Rose's eyes threatened to water so she set the picture down and lay on her back with a sigh, eyes closed.

_Why did you have to die, Dad? Why? I miss you...please come back to me. Please..._

Of course her request was unfulfilled, so she decided to go downstairs and raid the kitchen to hopefully distract herself. The numerous liquor varieties and the temptations they offered made her stomach churn with disgust as she was reminded of her mother's alcohol addiction. She washed and ate several strawberries as well as a few handfuls of blueberries, then retreated to her room again. She picked up one of the novels she was reading and became engrossed in its complex plot until she fell asleep.


End file.
